Are you subconsciously self destructive?
Do you ever stop to question whether or not you might be be your own worst enemy?
There is a constant stream of internal chatter running though your mind. Is your self talk helpful, or does it drag you down?
You have countless different thoughts going through your mind. They are like a flock of flying words gliding aimlessly around in your head. Have you ever stopped to listen to what you are telling yourself?
- "I'm so fat"
- "I can't do this"
- "My parents were right, I never will amount to anything."
Maybe you cheer other people on and tell them, "You can do it", "I believe in you", but when it comes to your turn, you tell yourself things like, "I can't" or "I feel silly" or "how am I ever....."
I'm sure you know someone who has a negative attitude and always seems to have something to complain about. It seems like things are always "happening" to them. Maybe they have a victim mentality, and are prime candiates for depression and physical illness.
Do you know someone who is always cheerful? Are they always cheerful to the point that they irritate you? No matter what they're dealing with they are always positive and optimistic. How do they do that?
To see things positively even at the lowest times takes practice but it is achievable. What seems like a monumental task can be a simple matter of a series of small changes, and strong desire.
If you want to change your behaviour, you have to begin by changing your thoughts and changing what you tell yourself about your circumstances. This isn't mumbo jumbo or new age hype, it's well documented scientifc fact.
For it to be effective, you need to believe that you can change your behaviour by changing your thoughts and you need a strong desire to change.
The very first step, is to make sure you have forgiven yourself for everything. EVERYTHING. It might take a while. And while you're forgiving yourself, make sure you forgive everyone else too. Take your time over this, be thorough, you're worth it and so are they.
The second step is to craft some positive affirmations
There are well documented benefits to be gained from repeating affirmations customized to your situation and linked to your desire to change, but you nedd to believe what you're telling yourself for affirmations to be effectivge. So, make sure that you can believe what you decide to say, make sure that it has some foundation in truth.
The next thing you need to do is to listen to your self talk and see where it needs to change.
- What are you telling yourself?
- What can you change it to?
It's a bit like re-programming your mind. If you can't say, "I am beautiful" and believe it, then start with things like, "I looked pretty good in that outfit the other day", or, "those new shoes made me feel great".
Instead of saying, "I can't do anything right" start with "I did a really good job on ..." or "I handled that meeting well today".
Stop and allow yourself to re-live the good feelings. This is an instant mood elevator. Feel the feeling associated with that one little thing that made you feel good. Then make the feelings bigger; pat yourself on the back and tell yourself what agreat job you did.
Did you know that your body can't tell the difference between an emotion based on a real event or one you're imagining in you head?
Stop and realise that any accomplishment is an accomplishment! You don't need to compare it, or measure it against what anyone else has done. You are not in competition with other people.
Stop for a few moments at differnt times of the day, and evaluate the types of thoughts that are going through your mind. They are probably different at work than they are at home. They are probably different when you are watching TV to when you are with your friends or family. Maybe they are very different when you are with your family!
Recognise that your thoughts are responsible for your responses and your current circumstances.
Try replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. State them out loud with belief - that's an affirmation!
Write something down. Something positive for the person you are becoming. Try something like, "every day I get better at making positive changes in my life and the lives of those I love the most."
Then try getting specific. The more specific, the better. Try it for a series of days, focusing on whatever it is you want to change.
What have you got to lose? Your circumstances will never just change someday, but they can start changing today if you take focused action. You may not be able to see big changes right away, but you will see yourself change if you are prepared to work on changing your thoughts and changing what you tell yourself about things.
Small daily changes will make a difference and you won't be able to miss the results! The more you do it, the easier it will get; it will become second nature. You will become your own coach and your own friend.
Everybody faces difficult times. They come and go and they will come again. You need to accept that, and choose your responses. You can start being your own life coach and cheer yourself on. You can be your own best friend. You may not always be cheery and happy, but you don't need to be your own worst enemy.
If you'd like some help with affirmations, take a look at this Affirmation Software
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