You can't afford to be angry. Anger drains emotional energy, plays havoc with your body and destroys your relationships. It simply isn't good for you or for the people around you.
Anger leads to arguments and arguments cause resentment and can be very hard to recover from. People are often willing to make allowances or even forgive you, but they find it hard to forget.
The wrong words or even the right words spoken at the wrong time or harshly, can cause a lot of difficulties. And the more you continue to say the wrong things in the wrong way, the bigger the trouble you will find yourself in.
Even when what you say is true, if you say it using the wrong tone or with the wrong facial expression; you could easily find yourself in an unnecessary argument.
How to avoid arguments
One way to stop an argument is to stop adding fuel. When you feel yourself getting angry it is sometimes best to say nothing. You can easily stop an argument in its tracks by simply deciding not to say anything else.
When you carry on arguing, you tend to stop listening and that only feeds the other person's anger. If necessary, simply walk away from the argument and give up your right to be right.
If you want to avoid arguments, try choosing your words more carefully and think about the results your words are likely to have before you speak.
Train yourself to wait before you speak and search to find a way of bringing peace to the situation. If someone is angry with you, try giving them a gentle answer rather than matching their tone and volume. A gentle answer can bring peace in the midst of a heated argument; try it and see for yourself.
When someone hurts your feelings it's easy to lash out and hurt them too, yet it's much wiser to let it go. Sometimes it's better to ignore an insult.
I'm not suggesting that you let people walk all over you. There are times when you need to confront people. When you do, find a way of saying what needs to be said without making accusations. Once people are on the defensive, thy are rarely open to hearing what you have to say.
Consider that you might be partly to blame. Sometimes simply admitting that you might be wrong can defuse the situation. "I'm sorry," is very powerful and can lead to reconciliation.
Next time you find yourself in the middle of an argument, try saying, "I think I'm right but I could be wrong." You might avoid a nasty argument and all that you will lose is a bit of pride.
One last thing, try to stay out of conversations were no one knows what they're talking about and everybody is arguing over nothing. I'm sure you can think of situations where nobody really knows what they're talking about but everybody thinks they do.
Is the price of being right really worth the cost of anger?
If you need help with dealing with anger I highly recommend Dealing With Anger - a short coaching guide
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